You yell ‘Oi fuck off with that chickenshit blunderbuss bullshit and fight me like a man’ and the navyman is so startled that he drops his blunderbuss and starts to cry. It sure is a lot of pressure to be a sailor these days. As the blunderbuss lands on the ground it fires in the direction of your ‘Lil Quartermaster. You fall to the deck and feel the warmth spread through your tight pantaloons as you rapidly lose blood.

• Piss yourself and pass out from profuse blood loss (Page 12)
• Maintain some dignity and pass out from profuse blood loss (Page 12)
• :o (and pass out from blood loss) (Page 12)
• Attempt to say something dramatic just in general (Page 9)