The Labyrinth of the Basilisk and the Showerless: The Labyrinth™, located deep in the school’s underbelly, was built by early Tufts’ engineers in order to travel across campus and evade the language requirements. However, legend has it that the first Tufts Engineer (known only as No-Shower Lockheed-Martin) placed the basilisk in the labyrinth to ward off humanities majors and SMFA students who are afraid of fictional things, like basilisk and future job prospects.
Brown University.
Sunil’s Cloning Chamber. Tufts has an over-enrollment issue and there are too many kids clogging up lines in Dewick. Despite this, everyone feels so similar. Everyone knows there are only three types of Tufts kids: Engineer, Taylor Swift, Pickleball. How can such a large student body all have the same personalities? Sources say this phenomenon arose due to the admissions’ office cloning chamber located in Cum. No one is real. Until we see the documents (acceptance letters), consider this “journalist” skeptical.
Your Mother’s House. Personally, this place is a second home for me.
Hollow Hill. It’s common knowledge that missiles are hidden under the hill that Tufts so proudly sits on. Tufts is referred to as a “Light on the Hill”. But, this draws attention away from missiles that lie beneath. After all, we are at war with the Crimson menace in Cambridge. William Tufts once said “better dead than Red”. This prophecy will be fulfilled for better or worse.
The Pits. This is where Tufts holds captive the founder of US News (John News), resulting in them continuously bumping us down in rankings.