The sparkly man starts to chuckle nefariously, removing his snazzy shades. You feel like you should recognize him, but months of blunt force trauma have robbed you of your long term memory. As you stand there looking like a drooling dolt, a gun fires and you feel a warmth spread throughout your tight pantaloons as you rapidly lose liters of blood.

• Piss yourself and pass out from profuse blood loss (Page 12)
• Maintain some dignity and pass out from profuse blood loss (Page 12)
• Attempt to say something dramatic to the son of a bitch (Page 9)
• “Ahhhhh! That hurts like the dickens!” (Page 12)