By You, the reader. You wrote this while huffing hand sanitizer.

Disclaimer: some of the activities on this are actually Not Allowed on campus so do not do them. Had to put that out there just in case.

• Socially-distanced trust fall (it’s the thought that counts)
• Wait for everyone to leave the Zoom call, then just stare at the professor until they hang up. Bonus points if you keep spamming reactions (*clapping reaction, thumbs up reaction, clapping reaction, laughing reaction*)
• Order a $2000 Edible Arrangement
• Jask (Jean Mask)
• Get underpaid at my work study job because I guess they were like… “Oops no more money, Tony spent it all on the train station.”
• Sit on the bridge thingy that connects Paige Hall and Miner Hall and annoy pre-meds with a Kaplan prep book attached to a fishing pole (Forbidden Sport)
• Turn my used masks into mini hammocks for the rabbits on campus
• Cut a hole in my mask so I can breathe
• Be the only person to turn on their camera in a 500-person Zoom
• Turn my Zoom class into an ASMR mukbang
• Wear a mask that has a “W” on it so I can constantly be making the “owo” face
• Cough
• Sit in my dorm and question why I spent an extra $8000 to stay here (“Why are we still here? Just to suffer?”)
• Buy a mask for my tuba
• Once you leave campus, you have entered the Scream Zone where you can sing and play as many wind instruments as you want, simultaneously. 
• Have a Zoom chat convo with someone whose name is right below the professor’s name 
• Buy a mask that doubles as a winter scarf
• “Motivation, yip yip!”
• Scare the RA by T-posing with a mask over my eyes at 3 AM
• Screw over my entire chem lab section by recording incomprehensible data and then waiting until the day before the deadline to send the data
• Sneeze into the bunsen burner to kill the germs
• Don’t do half of the lab because why would you need to have data for a lab report?
• Add more and more pumpkins to my Zoom background until they tell me to stop
• Buy a green screen for Zoom and then wear a green shirt so I’m a floating face in space (Zamboni was not An Imposter)
• POV: you’re my phone, which I dropped down the stairs with camera on
• Write this article while waiting in line at Carm