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Racist Feels at Home

Yesterday was a big day for Trevor Johnson, a college freshman at the University of Alabama. It was Election Day, and the first in which he was allowed to cast his vote towards the next president of the United States of America. But more than that, it was the day on which Trevor had finally worked up enough courage to come out – to all of his family, loved ones, and friends on Facebook – as racist.

Johnson’s method of choice for revealing his true identity was a Facebook post. “I’ve held these feelings inside for a long time, but I just can’t hide it,” the teenager explained in the status update. “I voted for Donald Trump today, and I am a racist! I think he can truly save our country. Also, my daily thoughts are constantly consumed by hateful notions, intentions and stereotypes towards anyone who isn’t caucasian.” The brave white supremacist continued his heartfelt coming-out post: “Additionally, all you Mexican muslim terrorist types can f*ck off back to Islam or wherever.”

We at the Zamboni spoke to Trevor about his courageous post, and the reactions he has received so far. “Yeah, man,” said Johnson, “It’s honestly such a relief. I’ve felt this way since I was like, six. But I never really knew what it meant, or how people would respond! I was especially worried about whether or not my parents would accept me. We moved from Massachusetts. My mom went to Vassar and my dad went to Skidmore, so they’re pretty damn liberal and they weren’t too thrilled when I told them I was a proud racist. They even tried to convince me that this was “just a phase,” and “not right,” and ‘fundamentally incorrect and contributing to dialogue toxic towards numerous marginalized groups.’ But I really owned them, you know. I told them to eat a butt and make America great again.”

Fortunately, Trevor found comfort in the support of his friends. Fellow freshman, Tanner McValuemeal, spoke of Johnson’s confession: “Yeah, I’ve known about Trevor for a while. Even before he confided his racism in me, I could kinda tell. I don’t know if it was the way that he walked, the way that he dressed, the way he yelled ‘White Power!’ at immigrants on the street… I don’t know, man. It was probably his fashion sense that really clued me in on it. No liberal trash would wear Wrangler jeans and Confederate flag shirts the way Trevor did.”

Trevor also had something to say about the companions he’s met since moving down south. “It was like a completely different world. I was drowning in Massachusetts – just so much tolerance of other races and faiths, and a complete lack of belief that non-caucasians are inherently inferior. It was awful. But since I came here, I think I’ve made some really important friendships. Like Tanner, for example. I knew we had something special when our hands touched as we both reached at the same time to light a burning cross on our neighbor’s lawn.”

The teen is relieved to finally be “out” about his racist feelings, and is comfortable in his new public identity. Though he used to be troubled by the slurs hurled at him by his peers, such as “bigot” and “intolerant Klan member,” Trevor was happy to reclaim those words for himself, as he explained at his induction ceremony to the KKK.