In late February, the administration of Bowdoin College received high praise from partially-brainwashed students and various Tumblr users after the university shut down a tequila party in which several students were wearing sombreros. After harshly punishing all of the students involved, citing claims of cultural appropriation, the Bowdoin administration has decided to continue to take action in their fight for social justice.

Last week, President Clayton Rose decided that the track team would cancel the rest of their season due to concerns that track events are actually forms of cultural appropriation. When asked to explain his decision, Mr. Rose answered, “Well, it has come to my attention that running races is a tradition that dates back to the time of the earliest humans, and the earliest humans were from Africa. Therefore, by participating in these races we are stealing from and misappropriating African culture.”

Other faculty members expressed concerns about microaggressions that might occur during track events. Bowdoin sociology professor Lisa Frigioni explained, “You know, seeing someone run fast may be a trigger for students who have been assaulted. It may remind students of a time when they had to run away from someone, or someone was running after them. In addition, the presence of hurdles may cause flashbacks and remind students of when they were little kids and they bumped their knees into sharp objects. This really can create a lot of traumatic stress. In addition, just the symbolic presence of the hurdles might make students think of the hurdles that they must overcome in life, and cause them to break down into tears on the spot.”

While some Bowdoin students applaud the faculty’s decision, this was not a popular move with everyone. Some students wonder why only track was cut when other sports could also be tied to instances of cultural appropriation or create other microaggressions. President Rose answered this question by saying, “Well, we are losing a lot of money on our track team.”