It was a Thursday night in the fabled hall of Harleston
My upstairs neighbors partied away, stomping the Charleston
They stomped, they pranced, they jived, and they danced
And I sat alone, by The Office entranced

But something was wrong, this would not do
A night alone could be used but for a thing or two
The roommate away, the cat out to play!
Where the sun does not shine, to see the light of day

But, the brain pondered, with who?
Is today a play for just one, or perhaps, two?
And if you want company in this little dorm dive
You’ll need something more than your charm and quirk to survive

And thus I rolled over with a great deep sigh
Knowing where the night’s validations would lie
Enter my passcode with great care for my phone
Tinder for the fire on a midwinter night’s bone

There are photos of me in sports bras on a hike
And photos of me laughing on bikes!
A photo at the club, dressed up in pearls
And one to show I’m ‘not like those other girls’

And there’s Chad from EC 5 who likes to do coke
And Brian from bio who you could introduce to your folks
A senior all the way from Boston University
And a grad student, for intellectual diversity

Simple as that, with a well-placed emoji or two
I’d secured a midnight date without much ado
To drink a couple ales and explore happy trails, land ho!
And thus, thanking my trusty Tinder app I go
To finish the night’s journey down on Pro Row