DELRAY BEACH, FL – Already calling it “the next big thing” and “my newest obsession,” Deborah Jeffords, an owner of a small bakery here in Florida, displayed a palpable enthusiasm to try so-called “conversion therapy” firsthand.

“I heard about it right after they called Florida for Trump.  Someone was talking about it on CNN, or something, and I didn’t hear too much about it, but boy, that Mike Pence sure seemed excited about it.  Now look, I’ve tried everything from hot yoga to cryotherapy, and frankly none of it seems to work!  I’m just always so fatigued.  This conversion therapy stuff, whatever it is, sounds like it might be just the thing for me.”

Ms. Jeffords, a Jill Stein supporter with self-diagnosed “gluten sensitivity,” exhibited a certain je-ne-sais-quoi, laissez-faire, Parmigiano-Reggiano attitude towards this reporter’s efforts to instruct her on the true nature of this practice.

“No no, that can’t be right. I love the gays just as much as anyone else, but this is a wellness therapy.  That’s what the gals at the club said the day after the election.  They say it makes you feel so much more regular, that it really ‘resets’ your system.  It’s exactly what I’m looking for!”

Mason, her eldest son, seemed unsurprised at his mother’s latest “health” craze.

“Last week it was this special bean paste from Thailand or something.  Next week it’ll be something different.  She’s really always been like this though; when I brought my boyfriend home for the first time, she flipped a shit [when she found out he ate GMOs].”

The corporation with which Ms. Jeffords booked her service (Out With the Old You, In With the New) could not be reached for comment, nor could Ms. Jeffords after her first session.