Making the transition to college can be tough for most people. Here are some common conundrums and methods we recommend to overcome them.

1. Need to study for upcoming exams? Just watch the next episode of Parks and Rec instead. That way, you’ll have more time to study later.

2. Not getting any matches on Tinder? Change all your pictures to guacamole. Bitches love the guac.

3. Have an essay due tomorrow that you haven’t started yet? Just take a flight to Europe to get an extra 6 hours before the deadline.*

4. Need to lose the freshman 15? Go to the gym and stop eating like shit, you fucking animal.

5. Not sure who to vote for in the upcoming election? Write in “Ugthovor, He Who Destroys All,” and you just might be saved from his wrath.

6. Someone took your coat at ATO? They’ll probably give it back if you ask nicely in the Facebook group.

7. Don’t have any friends? Me neither. My number is 617-531-8008 if you ever want to hang out or something.

Editor’s note: This phone number spells “Boobies716” when read backwards. We have no idea whose                            number this is, please don’t call it.

8. Don’t think you’re funny enough for Major: Undecided? Join The Zamboni! For real tho.

* Apparently, Europe is 6 hours ahead, not behind. But you should still keep it in the back of your mind.