1. Gotten up. Stood on my desk. Pulled down my pants. Squatted over my test. Shat on the paper
2. Written a list of reasons I should drop out of college
3. Done it as free verse poetry
4. Answered my Spanish exam in French (I have never taken French)
5. Answered my Latin exam in Pig-latin
6. Crumpled it up and used it as a tampon
7. Written it in invisible ink
8. Written it in my tears
9. Made a blood sacrifice
10. Guessed but not checked
11. Answered the prompt through interpretive dance
12. Let out a series of barks and squawks for the oral section.
13. Given oral for the oral section
14. Given anal for the oral section
15. Written it with my foot
16. Sent my twelve year old sibling to take it for me
17. Studied thrice as long, because 3×0=0
18. Asked my teacher to postpone it because “I’m too hungover.”
19. Answered in Esperanto
20. Attempted to solve all problems using the Pythagorean theorem
21. Turned in a $20
22. Turned in a $1
23. Turned it into a fortune teller
24. Made it into a paper airplane and tried to fly away on it
25. Written “help” and turned it in in a bottle
26. Catfished my professor for months to find out their innermost secrets and written them on the test paper
27. Slept through and hoped I would dream of the answers
28. Prayed
29. Given up on praying and drawn pentagrams to summon a demon to make a deal instead.
30. Put down my Netflix password as a bribe
31. Given the link to my erotic cam site
32. Pretended I was close friends with Monaco
33 Sketched twitter reaction pictures from memory
34. Hsilgne ni tub tfel ot thgir morf etirw.
35. Gotten TEMSed mid-exam
36. Written with my non dominant hand (my submissive hand?)
37. Written it using the royal we
38. Riten al thee anserz foneticlee
39. Made the test into a paper snowflake
40. Told the teacher that I had to skip the test in order to study for a “serious” class.
41. Submitted an informal request to take the class pass fail
42. Written it in emojis
43. Written my essay on Rupi Kaur poetry because thanks to the meme page I know it better than anything I read in English
44. Written a list of reasons the teacher should give me an A
45. Used myself as my only source
46. Turned it this article to make the teacher grateful enough that I didn’t do any of these to give me an A