In a stunning turn of events this past Sunday, the Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights has begun examining the Electoral College in light of recent research suggesting that it is in violation of Title IX, one of the 1972 Educational Amendments.  Title IX ensures that there is equal opportunity in government-affiliated educational institutions for all genders.

“Hillary Clinton was not given equal opportunity, plain and simple,” said Madeleine AllRIGHT, the attorney that is currently heading the case against the College. “And given the Electoral College’s critical role in educating voters on who won the office of the Presidency of the United States, we consider it fully within the grounds of a lawsuit.”

When asked to describe in more detail the opportunities denied to Secretary Clinton due to her sex, Ms. AllRIGHT had a lot to say. “She was repeatedly not even referred to by name in the media, just by her initials, silencing her opinions and detracting from their weight. She was given unequal speaking time during the debates deliberately. She was also, due to frankly childish complaints by her opponent, villainized just as much as he in the media, if not more, despite the incomparable severity of their wrongdoings. Don’t even talk to me about Comey either.”

When asked about the case’s likelihood of making it to the higher courts, AllRIGHT had only this to say: “It fucking better.”