The following is a paid advertisement for the Phychomelodic-Oppaiyama Food and Beverage Co.™

Spring is in the air and the new generation of liberated upper-middle class young adults still don’t care! You crazy individuals, with your tiny skateboards, dyed hairs, bare feet, MP4 files of the new viral video, non-committal and non-penetrative relationships of an intimate nature, and “habitual-but-responsibleSM” use of recreational marijuana. That’s why I’m here to stay, from here on out, in future Tufts Zamboni® editions, tellin’ y’all about the week’s year’s® off-the-press records that you just don’t wanna miss out on. Whether you’re lookin’ to get some Biomechemical Engineering studying down at the school library, let your hair down and dance “wit tha rithim®”, or even wet your whistle a thirst-quenching Grellmate’s™ Mocha Mint Cola Freezer-Squeezer® with (a) friend(s)/ famil(ies)/loved one(s), we got the sick new tracks to put the fire in your day! You love music!

But I be trippin’ wit my ramblin’! ! ! The Best New Album of the Week’s Year® is…

Gone in Sixty Minutes

by Atticus Pinch & the Double Dippers

Only three words for this album: Oh. My. Gastroenterology Midterm! The Double Dippers are scooping the Culo Cambria® Grape-flavored Sizzlin’ Salsa™ of our hearts again in their follow-up to 2014’s Nevermind the Size. Fierce, powerful, daring, and innovative are words. Songs like “Fever Finguhs” make you wanna grab your roommate(s) hand(s) and flail them up and down while a person of the opposite sex watches you with an affected grin, takes a sip of Googer’s™ Old Style™ Hard Apple Cider Vinegar Vodka™, and wonders why (pronoun) can only fantasize about wakin’ up to the touch of “another person’s skinSM”. Rating: Four-and-a-half SM out of 5