Features

Ray William Johnson: a Man, a Dream, and the Pinnacle of Entertainment

 

For many internet sensations these days, fame comes and goes in the blink of an eye. Our society is constantly consuming new forms of entertainment, from Harambe to Damn Daniel. But one resilient 36yearold has managed to beat the odds and somehow remain mildly relevant.

Ray William Johnson, known for his painfully mediocre-at-best YouTube videos, has been among the most illustrious internet personalities since 2009. Johnson was most well known among preteen boys, due to his signature comedic style of confused sarcasm tinged with sexist undertones. From 2009-2014, his most popular series, “Equals Three,” featured Johnson’s witty reactions to the era’s most popular viral videos. In addition to hosting the Equals Three show, Johnson was also quite the musical virtuoso, composing and animating hit songs such as “My Balls” and “Transphobic Techno (Bitch Got A Penis).”

Despite his success on Youtube, comedy and music just weren’t enough for the ambitious manchild. In 2014, he explored his emotional side with the touching drama “Who’s Driving Doug,” which received a whopping 20% on Rotten Tomatoes. But the peak of Johnson’s professional career arguably came years later, when he starred in a DiGiorno’s commercial in 2016.

But even now, Johnson continues to produce nothing but the finest humor on the web. Just last week he posted a comical image to his Instagram account, featuring a giant cake with the uproarious message “your rent is due,” all while smugly looking into the camera with his desperate eyes and what remains of his soul. And only a few days later, he posted a knee-slapping video titled “How to be Gangsta,” in which he attempts to impress two African-American men by performing feats such as stubbing his toe and prematurely ejecting a USB drive.

All in all, Johnson’s career has been nothing less than the work of a genius: an intellectual infant, immersed in a sea of cold, nutritious bosoms. Some may say that his days of uncomfortable ineptitude are over, but they have only just begun.