Size 7 mens, black and green, these bad boys will whisk you from homeroom to 3rd period faster than you can say “Truth is idk u but that should change.” Mileage is low – positive I haven’t ridden them around my cul–de–sac more than five times. Still got that new-shoe smell, underneath three cans’ worth of Axe body spray (“Essence” scent, in case you were wondering). Love these things to death but my mom made me put them up for sale after I got yelled at by a mall cop for using them in Spencer’s Gifts. Only flaw is a scratch on the left shoe that I got when I tried to do a freakin’ sick Heely-wheelie off my brother Shane’s skate ramp. It hurt, but it was worth it because it was a bet and the loser had to snort a line of Sweet Tarts. Anyway, buy these things and before you know it, you’ll be grinding on the middle school dance floor to “Don’t Trust Me” by 3OH!3. Well, Heely-grinding.

Will accept $15, or 150 Silly Bandz. To contact me, text me- I mean I don’t have a phone, but I have a texting app on my iPod haha it’s pretty much the same thing.