Have you ever found yourself at a party with no way of expressing how lit it is? Are you looking to make your dance moves 420% more dank? If so, it’s your lucky day because you’re about to learn the ins and outs of America’s hottest dance fad: the dab.

The key to a spicy dab is all in the setup. Many novices think that they can just dab whenever and however they want with no forethought. First of all, you need to have the correct dabbing attire, or “dabwear.” For a beginner, I would strongly recommend a graphic tee from Hot Topic and a pair of bedazzled jorts. You might see some experienced dabbers in business casual attire or even a full-on pantsuit, but you should definitely stay away from these until you have at least a B ranking.

Next, you have to think about the right setting for your dabs. This one is arguably the most important part, but it can get pretty tricky. On the one hand, you want to dab frequently enough to gain notoriety within the dabbing community. However, dab too often and you’ll be known as the boi who cried dab. In some rare cases, people have even gotten addicted to dabbing, so please try to stay safe, especially when on a unicycle. As a general rule of thumb, you should only be dabbing when the situation is lit enough. On a scale from one to lit, you want to be shooting for ‘quite lit.’ For example, if you’re at a party and Darude – Sandstorm comes on, that would qualify for a proper dabbing environment.

Next, it’s time to work on your dabbing form. If you’re just a casual dabber, you probably haven’t put much thought into how to best execute your dabs. Despite seeming like a simple maneuver, the dab is actually rather difficult to perfect. Start out by just doing the head movement. Then you can incorporate the arm motion. Try to aim for about a 30° angle, and make sure you keep your elbows straight (note: never practice your dabs one arm at a time. Or at least, don’t let anyone see you do it.) Then, you can start combining the two components, and you’ve got yourself a dab!

After a few months of training, you should be on your way to becoming a dab master. Once you think you have what it takes, you can start climbing the leaderboards. To do this, visit your local rave, smokeshop, or any other Authorized Dab Location. They’ll set you up with an ODD (Official Dabbing Database) account. However, you won’t have any ranking. For that, you’ll need to earn some qualification points at ODD sanctioned events, such as ragers and awkwardly hanging out in Houston 104.

To earn an E ranking, you’ll have to place in the top 10 at a BDQ (beginner dabbing qualifier). This may sound overwhelming, but don’t worry: everyone there will be just like you. And even if it takes a few tries, don’t give up! Just stick to the basics, and you’ll get there in no time. Once you have a ranking, it’s time to double down and get serious about your newfound lifestyle. For the average dabber, it takes around 3 months to climb from an E to a D to a C. To do this, all you need to do is rack up 420.69 ODD points.

After you get a C ranking, things really start to turn up a notch. Only the best of the best can get a B ranking, and an A ranking is shared only among an elite few. At this point, you need to really start distinguishing yourself as a dabber. Consider altering your dabwear, or maybe try putting your own personal spin on the dab. Eugene “Unclean Gene” Sinclair, dabbing aficionado, got his claim to fame by bending his knees and saying the Lord’s Prayer whilst dabbing, shortly before his untimely death in a tragic unicycle accident.

But chances are, you probably won’t be among the likes of myself and Unclean Gene, and that’s okay. The only important thing is that you’re having fun, and not dying in a tragic unicycle accident. Oh God I miss you so much, Gene. I don’t know how I can go on without you. But yeah, just follow these steps and you’ll be a good dabber or whatever. Not that it even matters anymore.