A local mom has discovered that an apple a day keeps the doctors away. With the simple purchase of any Apple® product every day, Sally Anne Jones has kept her family home MD-free for 38 years straight. Some argue that this is excessive and demonstrative of the downfalls of consumer culture in modern society, but close friends of Mrs. Jones point out that her reflexes have never been better. After playing Flappy Birds for eight days straight, Jones’ eyes were not feeling in tip-top shape, but her instinctual yearning to hit birds off of fences helped in her quest to avoid the Jehovah’s Witnesses, as well as the local doctors roaming the neighborhood in their search for blood.