Opinion

DRUNK ADVICE BY DRUNK GIRL$ FOR DRUNK GIRL$

Where’s the bathroom?

It’s to the right and then to the left then to the right then straight then still straight then up the stairs then down the hallway then right then it’s the second door on your left.

Is he cute?

I mean he’s kinda cute but like he’s SO killing the Swampland theme so like you totally should.

How do I use a condom?

Ok so like you take the wrapper off and then you like grab the slimy part of it and you put it or roll it or something onto the boner and then SCREW IT you’re on birth control, you’ll be fine.

Should I take one more shot?

I mean you drank a lot but that’s a Peppermint Patty shot so DO. THAT. SHIT. This one time I took one of those and like they totally missed my mouth pouring the syrup and I had chocolate sauce EVERYWHERE ugh it was so gross and it ruined my makeup.

How many tater tots can I eat at 3 am?

No seriously like my makeup looked SO good but then that fucking chocolate sauce ruined it.

What do I do about a guy who won’t stop talking to me?

Just make out with another guy. It’s totally the best way to show him you’re not interested

Can I steal this exit sign without people noticing?

That fireball is making you fucking invisible just go for it.