NEWS
“You’re Finally a Woman,”
Now, no more than an hour later, standing on President’s Lawn, Jessica caressed a lit cigarette between her lips, tasting from the haze of smoke that…
BACK TO SCHOOL, BACK TO SLIM!
Brought to you by the Tufts University Office of Residential Life & Learning Are you a bright, young individual headed off to Tufts this fall? Worried…
A Soulful Word on Beginning
This morning, as my joints tingled in anticipation for the 6:30 a.m. industrial garbage trucks, and my lower back ached in fond remembrance of the trusty…
Message to a Penis Padawan
Welcome, young penis padawan! Your training begins today. I will help you – I am the Penis Jedi. I was born of the Penile people on…
The Sink’s Secret Menu
LAVENDER MARRIAGE: Earl grey latte coupled with lavender syrup THE GREEN LINE: Regular matcha latte; You’ll have to wait 8-12 minutes, but it gets the job…
More Mormon, Less Problems
We all had dreams of attending the best universities America has to offer, but, somehow, we ended up at Tufts instead. While many of you eggheads…